yesterday i stumbled upon this song while watching some twitch stream
I found it to have quite an nice atmosphere.
Still i somehow think i am not sure i get the meaning of the lyrics right.
The official word is that the song is about the process of a relationship falling apart.
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I'm not gonna try and make it even
You're way ahead by now
I'm not gonna try and make it all even
Even though I know how
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First part i think is about 2 people in a relationship where one of them has done some things that does seperate both in a very harsh way.
One possible and obvious option is that one of the two has cheated on the other several times while the other has stayed faithful.
This would fit perfectly since the only way to make them even again would be by person B starting to cheat, too
but B realizes that he was cheated so often that its a long way to goo till they would be even again.
and he is not willing to do it.
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And everyone thinks I dodged a bullet
But I think I shot the gun
And everyone thinks I dodged a bullet
But I think I shot the gun
I guess its about how people from the outside see them as a couple.
Everyone thinks they have overcome a crisis and are in the process of fixing stuff to get along well again . (Dodged the bullet)
But he thinks he did finally decide to quit for real. (Has not done it yet but decided to do so)
__________________________________________________________
I'm not gonna tell my new friends about you
No, I'm gonna let that slide
I'm gonna be lazy when I write about you
Even though it takes all my might
_________________________________________________________________________
Person B is starting a process of seperation
He will try to cut out Person A of his daily life bit by bit.
Allthough it obviously will be hard
_____________________________________________________________
I'm gonna get back to believing
It's been a long, long time now
I'm gonna get up and make it look easy
Even though I don't know how
Last part is about him trying to get his shit together and "attacking" life again
Getting confidence in himself back after getting hurt and lost in the relationship for a long time
He is motivating himself to get up and make it look easy
And of course right now while he is down ...the vision of his happy self confident future him is just a picture he likes to draw .
He is not yet knowing how it will work out.
Did i get this right ?
Somehow makes sense
but i am obviously not a native speaker so i might have gotten some things wrong
Played some poker last week.
Realised again why poker is nothing for me
Not "real" Poker though.
CS:Go Poker ...where u deposit skins and then play poker and after that cashout in skins....
1000chips = 80 cent skin value
Deposited all the CS:Go Skins i dont need (Since i dont play CS:Go more then 2-5h a week anyways i dont really need skins)
Got in 18K (14,5€) in Skin Value and started some 4K chips HU games. (I somehow never managed to make a solid BR Rule ever ^^)
Competition is basically CS:Go Players who never played poker..... Its like in the good old pre 2010days on Partypoker
Played super standard ABC oldschool poker....
Just value betting/ 3 betting PF
C betting most flops
Value betting turns and rivers
No bluffs , no crazy shit
Won some pots , lost some pots ....got my ass handed by some big suckouts but always came back and after 4h i had managed to make it to 78K chips
then i joined a 20K HU table.... (Well Poker BR... again)
Villian was an incredible calling station , calling 100% 3 bets pf with K2o and stuff like that.
After some time we both had around 30K chips
------------------------------------
I get AQs
He raises pf i 3 bet he calls (as always)
flop 873 all Spades
I bet flop he 3 bets i shove all in , he calls
and he shows A3 no draw
turn 3 river A...
he wins with Full House...
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I cash out the remaining winnings and decide that
it was a good Idea to quit poker almost 4 years ago
Its just not for me
Some of the guys here may remeber , most probably dont
about 3 1/2 years ago from now i did a post about my EX GF (at that time she was still my GF)and how fucked up things were.
It was a long and sick story that i wrote in a Topic called GF Story that i did delete later on.
it got alot of attention and responses were very mixed.
Some said she is a crazy bitch and i should run
others said she may be overreacting and crazy but i was an absolute asshole and shoulda expectet to get what i deserve ...(Well still cant see how ..but people have different opinions)
Well end of story at that time was that i took full risk and called the police which ended our relationship and made her flee to Austria ....
(It was a bit risky since she told me she would accuse me of rape and domestic violence if i ever called the police ... And there was a good chance i could run into problems with the way she is and our relationship was but i took the risk and trusted in karma)
worked out.
She flet the country
I was free
Now 3 1/2 years later i get a facebook message from a guy who is sad to live in Austria.
I figured its would be something related to my ex gf and so i didnt block him instantly but let him talk:
His Words:
Sorry to bother you and i dont know if there is anything that can come out of thet conversation but i am desperate and dont know what else to do.
My live is a complete mess and currently i cant see a way out.
I am the Boyfriend of your ex GF (J....H....) and have a child with her (2months old).
My life is an absolut desaster right now
This girl is destroying my soul but i cant see a way to get rid of her without loosing my child.
If i break up she will turn my child against me and my own blood will always hate me ...the father who left the family behind.
But i cant stay together with her.
She is so fucking crazy.... she completely ruins my life and does things u probably cant imagine.
Is there any chance by any means u can give me some tipps on what to do ?
I just dont know what to do anymore
i am lost
I replied:
Well i know exactly what she is capable of and what she does.
And i feel sorry for you since i was in the same position kinda ...
This girl crushes souls as an addiction.
There is some fights u just cant win.
And trying to have a happy Life with this person involved in ---> thats a fight u just cant win.
Sucks for you
Forget about your child and run .....or be a slave to a demon for the rest of your life.
choose the lesser evil
->and then i blocked him.
sicklife T_T
If i was in his position with a child.... i could only see 1 way out
as hard as it is....
the pain of leaving the child behind is nothing on a scale compared to having this demon involved in your daily life for the rest of your years
